It will be useful to differentiate between the types of causes:
A Trauma is an original damaging wound, or abuse that was physically and/or emotionally painful but which was not properly expressed and released but rather suppressed and eventually repressed or locked away in the unconscious, hidden away from the ordinary memory and conscious mind but also patterned into your heart and mind in the process. It happened a long time ago but this strong charge is still there, still affecting you in ways you cannot recognise or understand. Deep down below in the core it churns under intense pressure…
A Stressor is a regular source of upset and often winds you up and boils you over. Particular individuals or life situations that make you anxious and tense, and this often turns to anger and leads to conflict. For people with these kind of deep seated anger issues, there can be many stressors that contribute to and trigger angry episodes and outbursts. Being late, having to speak in public, or being stuck in traffic, or going to meet someone, problematic people, headaches, or tiredness, any kind of irritation, could make one more susceptible to being triggered or snapping. People with a history of suppressing and repressing tend to bottle things up and this only leads to greater and greater pressure which must burst at some point, kind of like a pressure cooker.
A Trigger is some situation or person who causes one to snap and fall into unconscious reactivity. For people with lots of bottled-up repressed memories and emotions a relatively harmless incident can create a fissure, between the volcanic charge deep down inside, churning under intense pressure, and the surface… a crack through which it quickly rises and erupts violently onto the surface, with all the raw, primal force of the original Trauma’s that had been locked away, plus years and years of post-traumatic stress and brooding further compacting it into a volatile explosive bundle.
With most people it takes a combination of stressors and triggers to set them off on a downward spiral into the dark pit of despair. Add another one or two or three triggers and the person will become very angry, snap, lose control and start saying and doing hurtful things, exaggerating and blowing things out of proportion. The person falls into the chasm, the reactive unconscious mind takes over and all the old repressed emotions erupt onto the surface in confusion. There is no logic, or understanding, there is raw primal emotion… fear… anger!
An Over-reaction is when you react way out of proportion to the situation. A small thing makes you very angry. There are many people with this kind of anger problem. For some it’s worse than others but the important thing to recognise is the way the present time events are exaggerated and distorted or twisted due to the past traumatic experiences repressed down and patterned in. That charge hidden in the unconscious depths is pushing to the surface to be expressed and needs to be decompressed. Sometimes there are people or a person in your life who is really being nasty to you and making you upset, but sometimes you find yourself getting really upset with someone close to you who is not really nasty but you can’t help yourself, you keep getting angry with this person over small little things. There are there for Real and Unreal Tremors, Stressors and Triggers and it is sometimes hard to tell these apart because they all feel the same. People with this kind of dynamic have the unfortunate tendency to over-react with certain dependent people close to them.
A Projection is when you find some reason to get angry at the wrong person. You feel a kind of vague and nebulous angry stress that comes and goes like hot flashes, but it builds and builds, and sometimes you can feel really horrible inside… you don’t want to feel this way… you don’t know why you are feeling this way, you can’t explain it… you repressed so many upsets that you can’t even remember what happened to make you feel these things, then something happens, a Tremor or Stressor or a series of tremors and stressors agitates you, the anger is already rising, suppressed now but only just… just beneath the surface, it just needs a reason to explain its existence and to explain your sanity or restore your sanity… an outlet… you cannot live with the internal suffering, it is driving you mad… so you unconsciously create or exaggerate a situation to be angry about, to allow you to vent and release this energy. The person who is the focus of your attention and anger did not do anything that bad to deserve it. They may have done something small, or nothing at all, but you cannot stop yourself. The anger is already there before they even did or said anything.
Bashir is at work and his boss shouts at him in front of other people for something that wasn’t his fault. But he takes in on the chin and does not or feels he cannot react or speak back to his boss for fear of losing his job. Bashir works hard and it frustrates him when he is treated poorly. He suppresses it because he doesn’t want to get fired. Bashir’s dad used to shout at him like this, for ridiculous things, swear and scream at him, in front of other people, and it was unfair and humiliating, and demoralizing. Bashir could never speak up to his dad either. Bashir goes home, he is hungry and tired, just wants to eat but the food isn’t ready, and the kids are arguing… he is stressed… his wife does not sense his disposition, she doesn’t know what happened at work, she is talking about something, she seems to complain about something… “I don’t know how many times I asked you to fix that…” suddenly Bashir is in a rage. He shouts, he swears, he screams at the children, he breaks a glass on the floor and stands up walks around threateningly.