Freedom is not being able to do whatever you want to, it is more like knowing your motivations, recognizing your patterning, and becoming liberated from limiting programming or conditioning. We all get conditioned in some way or the other to our parents and care givers and societies patterning and to the general collective human pattern, which on the whole is full of suffering. We play out our role in family and society as expected, we create personas to deal with those expectations and we fragment our consciousness and lose our purity. We carry out the day to day routines, we act out the pseudo-religious rituals and repeat the incantations, we imitate what we have seen everyone doing. We think we are thinking but in reality the negative thoughts patterns of our people echoes out perpetually in our heads. We feel like we are feeling, but we are trapped in exaggerated emotional routines which we observed and had woven into the fabric of our minds. We believe we have free will but we are habitually performing or acting out prescribed roles… we are selecting from a very limited and heavily filtered possibilities unaware or unwilling to explore the possibility that there is a far wider range of choices… of questions… of theories… of possible answers… of ways of doing things… of expressing one self…


When I started to express myself I realized that most people don’t like what I have to say or what I think and feel. It scares them, they don’t want to question anything, they don’t want to consider anything, becos it may require them to change their way of seeing and doing things, and they don’t want to change, more than that, they don’t want to have to see themselves and what they are doing to themselves and others around them, and if you become a mirror unto them they will try to smash you… into fragments! The free spirit longs for beauty, awe, connection, oneness, truth, meaning, purpose, love and bliss, and not finding such things in the quasi-religious, pseudo-spiritual ancient cultures we are born into we rebel, we turn to the world of information, decadence, drugs, science, philosophy, art, music and we start to dream a new dream. I became an inconvenient person, always expressing strange ideas and even though my people, my family and friends loved me alot in my quiet nature, they began to turn away from me when I started speaking my truth.

They were/are afraid of me… rattling the invisible bars of their cages!

The animal appears to be free, but is not free, or rather the range of choices he is capable of making are very limited and even when he chooses it is the same choice any member of his species would make in the same situation, he acts on what we call instinct. Intelligence programmed into the fabric of his organism, in the arrangement of his autonomic nervous structures distributed throughout the body, bypassing the work of thinking and choosing, but where the rudiments of thinking and choosing becomes possible nature punishes non-compliance, and rewards compliance. Similarly that person who lives in a religious culture and imbibes all its customs and laws and lives unquestioningly according to those prescriptions is also unfree, the range of his choices are limited, he acts on what we can term cultural compulsion. Intelligence programmed into the fabric of his collective species, in the arrangement of externalized expectations and the subsequent balancing and prioritization of urges and desires, distributed throughout the herd, guiding thinking and where the rudiments of freedom becomes possible it punishes non-compliance, and rewards compliance.

He thinks that he thinks but he rarely really does.

He believes that he believes but he rarely really does. He feels that he is feeling but he rarely really does, he is either desensitized, insensitive, or over-sensitive. He thinks he is alive and conscious but that’s only so because he is unaware of his great potential, it remains dormant, latent, as the gears grind he turns and moves. What would it mean to you and your sense of who you are if you were to know that you are not free, that you are an automaton, a robot, a cog in a gear, in a machine, in an organic energetic system called Nature, and in a relational inter-dependent ego-system called Culture? That virtually every impulse, feeling and thought that you mistakenly assume belongs to you and your personality are actually reflections of projections motivated to you through a hidden unconscious system of complexes, a complexity of systems that keep you distracted in a dream… which sometimes, or rather, often becomes… a nightmare… But it doesn’t seem so when you’re so busy with the busyness of your life! Rooted to the routines of your ‘life’?

Sounds like sci-fi doesn’t it?

In a media and entertainment world super-saturated with sensationalism, emotive dramatization, persuasive advertising and programming of all kinds feeding your base instinctual drives it would be difficult for you to separate the sparkling crystal of truth out of the dense medium from whence it emerges, and so how would you know the difference? I am not asking you to ‘believe’ what I am saying or to do anything in particular. I am inviting you to question, think, feel and understand for yourself, to follow your heart and to realize that which may or may not empower you to act in ways that are free, truly free. Freedom is what it’s all about! And it is how you will come to know the dividing line, between those who desire to motivate you to act out of some unconscious and instinctual or cultural and religious impulse and those who want you to be emancipated of such limitations and mental slaveries and be free.

So you think you are free, do you?

You and ‘your people’ may have been liberated from the shackles of colonial domination, political subjugation, economic enslavement or whichever particular old world discombobulation held people in one form of outer bondage or another, but are you really? The outer history of humankind has been about conquest and colonization, and most people’s notion of freedom is of an outer achievement of emancipation from ‘external’ control and power regimes who impose their will over the will of the defeated subjugated people, traumatized they are enslaved, their leaders and heroes killed or imprisoned and they are all collectively made to serve the ruling ’empire’.

Being outwardly free means being able to make choices about your life, where you live and where you work etc. Many nations have achieved a kind of sovereignty or ‘independence’ but yet the economic disparities mean that most of their people have a rather limited range of outer choices. Powerful forces motivate them and they respond accordingly like nuts in a machine. But strangely some of the worlds greatest and most free individuals who worked inner freedom for so many millions, lost the outer freedom and ended up in prison, locked away behind bars, with very limited outer choices, yet inwardly they were at peace, even enraptured. Yet the one’s at the top, the kings, emperors, tzars, kaizers, shahs, in the more modern context presidents and CEOs etc. outwardly all powerful and supreme but inwardly suffering deeply and intensely!

That is strange! “

Every ‘nation’ has experienced war, or conquest, and some have done so many many times. The trauma experienced by families: men, women and children, during war times results in repressed volatile unconscious re-activity which gets passed on down the generations, and the war continues inside even when outwardly it seems their is peace and stability.

Do you still think you are free?

Let’s take a deeper look… let’s scratch beneath the surface a little… let’s see what’s under that polished veneer, of that nice socially acceptable persona you present to the world? With your normal eyes, embedded in your normal head, of your normal body, with its normal life, and normal work, normal family and normal home, normal routines and normal habits… you will struggle to see any of your limitations, issues or neuroses, because you are always defending them as your own normal personality! You have to recognize them and disown them, you have to create distance, space between you and your normal negative pre-occupations and habitual tendencies that contract and reduce you out of your potential yet inherent love blissful expansive consciousness, which is utterly weird. Then you can begin to recognize what really is consciousness.


candle sketch 2

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